There’s a popular stereotype that most marriages are doomed. Singles believe that it’s only at first pink and rosy: unforgettable honeymoon, lots of time together, laughs and giggles. A couple of years into the marriage they sleep in separate beds, don’t talk to one another and have their own weekend itinerary. Despite this, there are many examples of happy marriages including my own marriage.
My husband is English and I am Russian. We’ve been married for over two years. And while it doesn’t seem like a long time, it’s not uncommon for a marriage to collapse before reaching the first milestone. So we’ve done quite well so far.
My fiance at that time flew all the way from England to marry me in a registry office in the middle of Siberia. It was October, normally a chilly and rainy time of the year. But luckily on our wedding day the sun came out and we enjoyed the perks of an Indian summer. We were really happy and this was the best day of our lives.
Weddings in Russia are on average much cheaper than in England. The cost of the whole wedding in Russia would’ve only just got me a nice bridal gown in England. Although a memorable day, it sadly puts you even deeper in debt. Based on that, we tried to be wise with money and didn’t splash out on anything we didn’t need. I really don’t think having a very expensive wedding would make you any happier, happiness is all about you marrying the person you love and having your loved ones around to support you.
After the wedding was over settling into our new roles as husband and wife was all we wanted. Our marriage was definitely pink and rosy for the next two weeks and then my husband flew back to England. No worries. It’s not that it took him so little time to realise he’d had enough. He had to leave because of his expiring visa and a job in London.
I was preparing papers to apply for a British visa and hubba earned money for our future life together. We missed each other very deeply and although met in Moscow a few times it just wasn’t enough. After half a year I finally arrived and instead of moving in with my husband I moved in with his mum 😀 Why? Sadly, at that time we couldn’t afford to rent a flat.
Long story short, I got a job in London and my husband and I finally managed to secure a flat to live together. Yay. It happened. The time apart definitely added extra fondness and tenderness to our relationship.
Some Tips on a Successful Marriage:
Tip 1: Don’t spend too much money on the wedding and choose to honeymoon in the countryside. Saving on the wedding and honeymoon will allow you to perhaps buy your first place together.
Tip 2: Respect each other’s personal space. It’s normal not to spend every single second together and have hobbies of your own. Although it’s always good to make an effort to like your other half’s interests. My husband loves coding and it takes up most of his day. So I asked him to teach me Python (a programming language) and it was a real fun. He turned out to be a very good sensei.
Tip 3: If you’ve had an argument, don’t take your time to make up. Not speaking to one another for ages doesn’t do any good to your relationship. Ask your other half this cute question – “Can we be friends again?” – and see if you get a cheeky smile back.
Tip 4: If you feel like you’ve had enough and that’s the end – trust me it’s not. Pull yourself together and work harder on your marriage. It’s never easy out there 🙂